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It's The People, Not the Airport! (Part II)

People rag on the TSA about causing travel trouble. But the real problem is the passengers. Here’s some more reasons why they’re so aggravating!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
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When we ran the article last month “It's The People, Not the Airport!” we didn’t expect to get such a great response. Who knew people did not like the airport and flying experience? Ha!

We got some people that shared some of their awful experiences and some great suggestions to add some new ones. So here is the latest crop of things that are crazy annoying because of people in airports.

Up Front Bag Stasher

Thanks to Walter Lowe, Jr. of WEL International for this one. He says: “My pet peeve is the guy sitting in back of the plane that has to put his carry on in a bin in the front.”

His seat is 48F yet he feels he’s entitled to utilize the overhead compartments in first class or close to the front of the plane. Here’s the thing. You have just lugged that bag from the ticketing agent, passed the TSA molesting zone, through the entire airport and down the jet way. Now you are too tired or lazy to carry the last 20 feet? Either check it or carry it all the way. New rule; if your bag is not within a couple of rows from you the people have a right to take you stuff. We won’t because you usually have horrible taste in clothes too, but still we could sell it on eBay.

Armrest stealer

Can’t we all just get along? Truth is when it comes to claiming armrest space the situation can devolve faster than an Israel Palestinian peace talk. I am not sure why the people I sit next to feel the need to take the WHOLE armrest between us. They can accommodate two elbows if one takes the front and the other takes the back part.

Recently I had one stuck in the middle seatmate who was an absolutely hell bent – that’s right hell bent – on using both armrests. She staked out her claim and refused to budge even when I tried to slide a little elbow in there. Or when she coughed I slid my arm in. She pushed it out of the way. Mind you the plane hadn’t even departed yet for a cross-country flight. So as I was just getting into explaining plane seat etiquette the greatest thing happened. A flight attendant approached us and said I was upgraded to first class. Haha take that lady. Best part I was replaced by someone MUCH wider than me. Which brings us to…

Shocked Heavyset Folk

I do not want to disparage people that run wider than the rest of us, but I cannot help to be amazed that people who take up more than one seat are shocked the person next to them might have a wee bit of a problem being squished. Be it genetics or life choices that got you into this situation, it is not my fault or responsibility.

Thanks to Bruce Humphrey, Managing Partner at Kbith, for mentioning this one who says: “Peasant class seats are small and don't give you much room, but that doesn't mean you get to have some of mine too, I like the airlines that make larger people get two seats to themselves as I do not like to share. I do like my own personal space.” Well said Sir Bruce! At this point people should not be surprised that their large size in a small space might cause an issue. It sucks but you have to deal with in the same way the smallest guy always has to climb through air ducts in heist movies.

Bag is Bigger Than the Girl, Girl

How is it you’re five foot none yet have a bag that’s the size of the aforementioned passengers? You’re only going to Phoenix for the weekend. Now you’re trying to hoist a bag weighing what you weigh, only to drop it on the guy’s head unlucky enough to be near your bad judgment. If you can’t lift it, check it.

And don’t think because you are petite and potentially adorable we are all going to swoop in to help you. We have been on the road for enough years that we are immune to your girl tricks and we are scoffing at your lack of planning. The only reason someone helps is because you have spent the better part of an hour standing in the aisle ignoring the fact that 137 people are trying to get passed you to claim their ever shrinking seats.

Gate Area Seat Grabber

You’re only going to be there for about an hour, you’re not staking out a settlement Little House on the Prairie style. So there is no reason to stack your carry-on bags all around you on gate area seats like you are trying to recreate the Alamo. You know what happened to them. Well, maybe they do not.

Other people may want to grab a seat for a few minutes before boarding their flight and now have nowhere to sit because of you. And another thing; I thought you were only allowed two bags on the plane not the 73 you have surrounded yourself with. Place the bag underneath your feet thank you very much and do not get offended when someone stares you down for a seat while they hope your common sense returns.

The Seatback Slammer

Do you really need to push your seat back with more force than an aircraft carrier plane launcher? It’s only two inches and by the way, my laptop is open and one of these days someone is going to break it. And who is responsible for that anyway? You can easily look at or ask the person behind you for permission or better yet, just don’t do it.

I have personally stopped putting my seat back because it does nothing to make anyone feel more comfortable and only makes the person behind you hate you. That’s right we all think you are super selfish meany and you need to stop. Oh wait, you say you sleep like a baby at an 88 degree angle rather than a 90 degree one? Never mind, my apologies.

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